I've said it before and I'll say it again, look how far you've come! I hope when you revisit this traumatic time, you can see the resilience and courage that's got you to where you are today. Revisiting your story (can't believe it was 8 years ago - where does the time go?!) I'm once again in awe of your medical team and the top notch care you received. Only the best for you, Denyse xx Sending love to you.
Ah Sammie, the one who helped me through this maze of newness called 'cancer' way back. I will always remember your kindness and helping me understand the purpose of using the blog to share! B remembers you checking up on me too after that first big surgery.
Interestingly enough, so much change has happened at the surgical and reconstruction end with my team (and many more added) in that all aspects of surgery are now done 'in house'...with their special prosthetic teams. No more waiting for the people in Belgium.
Mind you it is more costly, and I am more than happy with my after care at Westmead and "zero costs".
Hi Denyse, it's hard to believe that 8 years have passed since that diagnosis. I can only imagine how traumatic it was to receive the diagnosis you did and to face the surgery and treatment ahead. To this day I am still amazed at the courage you showed during that time and still to this day. Thanks for sharing this milestone and reflection back with us at #WWWhimsy xo
It is getting up there in how long ago for sure, Min. It's often later on though that I have taken on board and accepted what was hard to hear and understand about what would be done to remove the cancer, and then reconstruct my mouth.,
I am slowing myself down deliberately now as too much too soon is not helping my recovery and I am pleased that I can accept what I need to do!
Hi Denyse, I think it's important that you acknowledge these dates if only to see how far you've come. It was a traumatic time in your life and it's no wonder you've felt burnt-out recently, a lot has been going on!! Take care and just do what you can when you can - no pressure!
It's such a long and tough journey for you. No wonder it's left it's mark for now. Hopefully you are slowly recovering from that too. It is a marvel they can rebuild jaws, as they hang off nothing, more or less. Remarkable. Keep building your strength - you've already done tough things so I know this will be resolved too. BUT you can take it easy in the process. Revisit but reward yourself after.
The 'jaw' is actually screwed into the bones under my eyes and secured to the bones on either side of my nose. It's extra sore and tight at times. The palate made from my skin and flesh (with good blood supply) was sewn into the remaining parts that still existed in my mouth. But because it's skin from my leg it doesn't act like skin in the mouth. Hard to fathom hey!!
I am slowly and surely making progress to a gentler and kinder retirement now...thank you for being here for it all.
I think it's great that you celebrated this time. Although I'm sure it must have been dreadfully stressful for you to revisit what happened, your thoughts and your fears. It sounds to me that once acceptance kicked in, you were able to take it all in and do what you had to do to cope. Once again you amaze me with your strength and resilience.
Thank you Jen, for your kind and comforting words. Today I have a couple of little confidence losses...and for no real reason, just getting back to becoming more involved in our daily life here. I am sure, as I do often, I will be 'back' to the me I am trying hard to be these days. Less self critical. Sigh!!
Take care and thanks for your continued kindness and support.
The fear about what was to come really came through in this post. But you got to the other end of the tunnel, and have done a lot of work to spread awareness after... an important role but one that would be tough so shortly after your own experience. Your burnout has been a healthy response to those years and I've been glad to see your posts and notes recently that you seem to be feeling so much better.
Writing is therapy and sharing your story must have helped a lot.
Thanks Susanne for your perception and those words of yours ring true. One thing I do remember from after coming through the first surgery so well is the relief I could talk (ha!) and that I was on my way to recovery. It buoyed me for that long stay in hospital and I got to meet some amazing nurses and doctors. One nurse should not have been in the role as it was clear her heart was not in it. A story for another time maybe.
I am grateful for the writing I get to do and share here and it's good to have readers who have known me for a while pick up on how I am doing.
Even with your moments of fear and tears, I know you were so strong and positive through out. You got yourself through that and now it seems it's time to face how massive it truly was. I remember being so in awe of how you managed and still am.
Something I have learned, though is once you no longer have to be strong there's often a lot of trauma that has stored itself in your body to contend with.
From what I can see, you're already facing it head on (even when you don't necessarily want to) and with compassion for yourself.
Hi Denyse it was certainly a traumatic time of life but look at you now! You handled it much better than you think and were an inspiration to many. You should celebrate this anniversary because you overcame such a huge hurdle. Glad to see you getting back into life after your recent hiccup. Life is like that though isn't it? Take care, Sue L x
Thanks Sue, for seeing that in me too. I am 'glad' I made up my mind to write about it. And yes to helping me heal. It's been a tough road but with friends and supporters along the way the path becomes easier.
Hi Denyse - certainly a time of your life that had a huge impact. I think you tried to stay so positive through it all, and now you're giving yourself space to acknowledge what a challenge it all was, and the ongoing effects it has had on your mind, body, and emotions. Healing is a long process.
Thanks so much Leanne. You have nailed it. I really had no idea of its impact until everything was finished in October 2022. Then we moved back to Sydney, I let go of my Ambassador roles, helped with Dad when I could, then with his death and all the organisation afterwards it took my GP (and Bernard!) to remind me of what the cancer had done to affect me. So, now, with all the inner work I am doing in recovery and yes it's a long process, I am honouring what it was for me.
You have been with me, as having some others via blogging, the whole time.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, look how far you've come! I hope when you revisit this traumatic time, you can see the resilience and courage that's got you to where you are today. Revisiting your story (can't believe it was 8 years ago - where does the time go?!) I'm once again in awe of your medical team and the top notch care you received. Only the best for you, Denyse xx Sending love to you.
Ah Sammie, the one who helped me through this maze of newness called 'cancer' way back. I will always remember your kindness and helping me understand the purpose of using the blog to share! B remembers you checking up on me too after that first big surgery.
Interestingly enough, so much change has happened at the surgical and reconstruction end with my team (and many more added) in that all aspects of surgery are now done 'in house'...with their special prosthetic teams. No more waiting for the people in Belgium.
Mind you it is more costly, and I am more than happy with my after care at Westmead and "zero costs".
Thanks for being part of my cheerleading gang.
Take care.
Denyse x
I can see why this would be a challenging memory to relive. I am glad you continue to heal physically and emotionally. XO
Thank you Christie, it was good to mark the day and now to move on!
Denyse x
I really really cannot imagine how it felt to face such intrusive surgery. You are certainly a very brave lady! Sending you love 💕
Thank you Janine. It was scary but I also had trust in those very clever surgeons & that, along with doing well post operatively helped.
It’s really only been this year that I’ve truly acknowledged the trauma..& so marked the days with this post
Take care
Denyse x
Hi Denyse, it's hard to believe that 8 years have passed since that diagnosis. I can only imagine how traumatic it was to receive the diagnosis you did and to face the surgery and treatment ahead. To this day I am still amazed at the courage you showed during that time and still to this day. Thanks for sharing this milestone and reflection back with us at #WWWhimsy xo
It is getting up there in how long ago for sure, Min. It's often later on though that I have taken on board and accepted what was hard to hear and understand about what would be done to remove the cancer, and then reconstruct my mouth.,
I am slowing myself down deliberately now as too much too soon is not helping my recovery and I am pleased that I can accept what I need to do!
Take care too Min.
Denyse x
Hi Denyse, I think it's important that you acknowledge these dates if only to see how far you've come. It was a traumatic time in your life and it's no wonder you've felt burnt-out recently, a lot has been going on!! Take care and just do what you can when you can - no pressure!
#Teamwwwhimsy
Thanks for your kind words of understanding and care Deb.
I am learning recovery from this time..is up and down as they say.
However I do feel better for acknowledging what happened instead of 'avoiding it'.
I am taking care as I can and enjoying life at a slower pace.
Take care,
Denyse x
It's such a long and tough journey for you. No wonder it's left it's mark for now. Hopefully you are slowly recovering from that too. It is a marvel they can rebuild jaws, as they hang off nothing, more or less. Remarkable. Keep building your strength - you've already done tough things so I know this will be resolved too. BUT you can take it easy in the process. Revisit but reward yourself after.
Thanks so much for your wise words and kindness.
The 'jaw' is actually screwed into the bones under my eyes and secured to the bones on either side of my nose. It's extra sore and tight at times. The palate made from my skin and flesh (with good blood supply) was sewn into the remaining parts that still existed in my mouth. But because it's skin from my leg it doesn't act like skin in the mouth. Hard to fathom hey!!
I am slowly and surely making progress to a gentler and kinder retirement now...thank you for being here for it all.
Denyse x
I think it's great that you celebrated this time. Although I'm sure it must have been dreadfully stressful for you to revisit what happened, your thoughts and your fears. It sounds to me that once acceptance kicked in, you were able to take it all in and do what you had to do to cope. Once again you amaze me with your strength and resilience.
Thank you Jen, for your kind and comforting words. Today I have a couple of little confidence losses...and for no real reason, just getting back to becoming more involved in our daily life here. I am sure, as I do often, I will be 'back' to the me I am trying hard to be these days. Less self critical. Sigh!!
Take care and thanks for your continued kindness and support.
Denyse x
The fear about what was to come really came through in this post. But you got to the other end of the tunnel, and have done a lot of work to spread awareness after... an important role but one that would be tough so shortly after your own experience. Your burnout has been a healthy response to those years and I've been glad to see your posts and notes recently that you seem to be feeling so much better.
Writing is therapy and sharing your story must have helped a lot.
Thanks Susanne for your perception and those words of yours ring true. One thing I do remember from after coming through the first surgery so well is the relief I could talk (ha!) and that I was on my way to recovery. It buoyed me for that long stay in hospital and I got to meet some amazing nurses and doctors. One nurse should not have been in the role as it was clear her heart was not in it. A story for another time maybe.
I am grateful for the writing I get to do and share here and it's good to have readers who have known me for a while pick up on how I am doing.
Thanks again Susanne, and take care,
Denyse x
Even with your moments of fear and tears, I know you were so strong and positive through out. You got yourself through that and now it seems it's time to face how massive it truly was. I remember being so in awe of how you managed and still am.
Something I have learned, though is once you no longer have to be strong there's often a lot of trauma that has stored itself in your body to contend with.
From what I can see, you're already facing it head on (even when you don't necessarily want to) and with compassion for yourself.
Ah B, that is so true about 'afterwards' we can accept that there is a lot of trauma underneath that strength needed to 'get through'.
I am so glad to have had (and still have) friends like you in my corner!
Love,
Denyse x
Hi Denyse it was certainly a traumatic time of life but look at you now! You handled it much better than you think and were an inspiration to many. You should celebrate this anniversary because you overcame such a huge hurdle. Glad to see you getting back into life after your recent hiccup. Life is like that though isn't it? Take care, Sue L x
Thanks Sue, for seeing that in me too. I am 'glad' I made up my mind to write about it. And yes to helping me heal. It's been a tough road but with friends and supporters along the way the path becomes easier.
Warm wishes,
Denyse x
We all need our cheerleaders. x
Hi Denyse - certainly a time of your life that had a huge impact. I think you tried to stay so positive through it all, and now you're giving yourself space to acknowledge what a challenge it all was, and the ongoing effects it has had on your mind, body, and emotions. Healing is a long process.
Thanks so much Leanne. You have nailed it. I really had no idea of its impact until everything was finished in October 2022. Then we moved back to Sydney, I let go of my Ambassador roles, helped with Dad when I could, then with his death and all the organisation afterwards it took my GP (and Bernard!) to remind me of what the cancer had done to affect me. So, now, with all the inner work I am doing in recovery and yes it's a long process, I am honouring what it was for me.
You have been with me, as having some others via blogging, the whole time.
I appreciate that so much.
Denyse x