One Year Ago

I Was On Edge.

Welcome to Denyse Whelan Writes Here, for the second last time to link up with my blogging friends…see below…in 2024.

Part of the reason I write here is to help me process ‘life’ and its happenings for me.

I have to say, that NOT everyone manages this way, but it works for me.

Thank you for reading..on, I hope!

December 2023.

1. Would we be able to stay on here as tenants from February 2024. Home/house security is very important to me. BIG time?

2. Would B and I be OK health wise for Christmas, particularly as one of us, me, had RSV in November?

3. Would my father be well enough to celebrate his 100th Birthday in January 2024?

4. Did he even “want to do so” and how might he want this to happen?

5. Would “I” manage my inner stress with all that was happening around me?

I AM a Planner….and often a worst case scenario one.

OK. I acknowledge that I could have used to more mindfulness last year….sigh.

However, I was (and still can be) on EDGE because “Dad”…….

DAD.

Between me and my brother (who did a lot more on-site care than I did back then for our Dad) it was sometimes hard to gauge what Dad really did ‘want’ for his 100th…especially when he was saying to us “I might not be here”….

So, over time last December “I” decided after Dad agreed to a very simple plan for his day on 11 January 2024 and my bro was fine to leave it to me as his end of responsibility for Dad’s welfare was more constant…and at times, hard!

As I had been unwell around the time of my 74th Birthday I left visiting Dad until early December and know he appreciated the visit and meals…I always felt better too, contributing to his welfare and clarifying how he wanted his birthday to be, and with my brother’s OK too.

BUT then I got COVID!!

That did throw me …especially over the news I had Covid (first, and to date, only time) I did not have time for this…especially after RSV but the Covid virus really hit. Until it didn’t and in fact, was not as bad for me, as RSV. However, it laid me low and in the time I was going to use to help with Dad and…feeling useful. But I could put myself to some use, and in planning mode after my brother and I sorted how to do Dad’s 100th.

I admit I went out, in a mask at the end of my Covid, to a local novelties factory which was closing down and bought “all the stuff they had for 100th Birthdays…”

B got Covid too…5 days after me, and he was, sadly unable to come to Christmas Day at our daughter’s. I actually stayed away from people too as much as I could and even went on a drive…just to be out and about..here, in a peaceful place at Pitt Town.

We heard from our real estate property manager that the owners were happy to keep us on as tenants into early 2025 and that was a boost for my morale…and the worry factor reduced…a lot. But still I “try” to remember this adage:

Christmas came, and I visited Dad again after the day. He could no longer walk much and not put shoes on so he ‘happily’ stayed at his place on the day and my brother and sister-in-law brought him a festive lunch. I began to make up my plans for the 100th and kept Dad (and my brother) in the loop of course…and let our ‘kids’ know what was happening.

The decision was, on the day itself, a Thursday in January, my family would visit Dad for an hour, have photos and celebrate with cupcakes and a cake for his 100th…and then Dad would rest up for my brother’s family a couple of hours later. It was a good plan. I may write about it next year.

I admit it was still quite hard managing the inner me but I used my mindfulness activities such as art and meditation, and talking with B. It was/is part of me to think of everything and everyone and want things to go well….and guess what, they usually do…

But I would like to think I could be a little less stressed as it happens…

More to ponder for another time.

We both recovered but B seemed to be more unwell in the longer term and was unable to attend Dad’s 100th. Not all family could because of school holidays.

Nevertheless I do know Dad thought it was great…even a ‘bit overwhelming’…and that matters most.

So, I did OK really when I look back. The inner critic is a pest at times.

It’s a year ago.

Dad died, after a very short illness, in late February 2024. I will always be grateful he was “OK” enough to mark the occasion of his 100th Birthday with those who mattered most to him.

And my word for 2024 was ‘choose’ and it really has tested me. I may write more about that next year too.

Take care everyone. Silly season is here and in Australia that can also mean “droughts and flooding rains”…..summer!

And because I had a good reason…telling the truth, I posted here on Monday…about my health and more.

Denyse x

Send my healing wishes to the host of WWWhimsy Min, who has been unwell but is now ‘on the mend’

……and over the next weeks the link up she hosts will be in the capable hands of Sue from here and Deb from here. Thank you Ladies.

Next week, 18 December 2024, will be the final one to link up for #WWWhimsy and it is planned to return on Wed 15 January 2025.

I will no doubt post from time to time within that period!