Telling My Truth.

Honestly. The Only Way Really!

Welcome to Denyse Whelan Writes Here.

This topic may not be for everyone. It’s about my struggle with having irritable bowel syndrome (I.B.S.)

from my Daily Calm…

I’m sharing what I have, at times, found to be something I feel ashamed about.

I also know that if I am not honest with myself, then the issues I raise here will re-appear unless I “learn to own up.”

What am I writing about?

My inner system’s reaction to my life stressors…which can come in the form of gut/digestive problems I label as I.B.S. or irritable bowel syndrome.

I’ve know about this condition within me (which comes and goes over time…) since the early 1980s after extensive testing.

What is IBS? Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is a group of symptoms that occur together, including repeated pain in your abdomen and changes in your bowel movements, which may be diarrhea, constipation, or both. With IBS, you have these symptoms without any visible signs of damage or disease in your digestive tract.

AND I have hated disliked OK, being honest, it is HATED having this unseen by others health condition. And so, over the past 10 years when it fully returned in my life (lots of big changes happening) I found it MORE awful that being diagnosed with oral cancer.

I know.

It’s the shame, the lack of certainty and the ‘mess’ that I can find myself in…and the limitations it places (placed as I was getting better!) on me to go out.

Yesterday, out at the shops, quite quickly I became aware I NEEDED to find a toilet STAT. And I did…and yes it was, for me an awful time of ‘messy bowel movements’….and my first like that in a LONG time (many months). The fact that I was away from home made it even trickier as it was not a pleasant time and I still had to drive home. With some care and meds on board, I did drive home, blessing each green light, and with my gratitude found my toilet…then bed. In that order!!

I think the above graphic outlines what happened very well.

Now to the honesty part….

Whilst I could relate more to you, I will say that once I had a rest, kept water up, and the anti-diarrheoa tablet did its work it was time for this….

H O N E S T Y with M Y S E L F

I have, over this little while, become over-busy for lots of good reasons and some stressful ones. It is amazing however, that even ‘good stress’ is stress and my inner self knows no difference.

I am very aware that the brain and gut are connected and the system, it seems, in me is well-trained to do the flight or fight thing. Except, it DID NOT over the times of Dad and his death, and all that happened organisationally afterwards, nor for some of the other reasons that have been triggers in the past.

My lovely G.P. and I have chatted about ‘my digestive system’ as I learn to detach from the “I make this happen” conversation and realise it’s my INNER self..my lovely feeling me, that can be a trigger. It’s not about food. Although in the past too much food did it to me. That’s not the case with my inability to eat a lot since oral cancer.

I think I got smug…or at least relieved a bit that I got through this year …without an episode like yesterday…and that was/is my reason for honesty. Now.

I NEED to learn more about the workings of my vagus nerve and its connection to my gut/brain story. I realised I have been AVOIDING this because “learning” can be a chore, but I also realised another thing.

I

HAVE

TAKEN

ON TOO MUCH

RECENTLY

and so I could almost feel BURNOUT on my tail.

YIKES!

Today it’s 24 hours since ‘it happened’ and I owned up to the reason being I.B.S. not a virus was the cause.

And I, in true me style, wanted to learn more about how to HELP myself with two matters:

The system within my body via this book I have now on Audible and I read along with Kindle to mark what I need to keep…this is written by an Australian who was a physiotherapist and now focusses all her work on the body’s systems.

And for formerly burnt out me…and this time of year where we can feel extra weighed down with responsibility ( oh, yes, even in retirement) I need to change some of my thinking and doing re boundaries. In fact, I began last night, asking B a question about a regular daily chore I took on …and had begun feeling resentful (always a burn out sign) and he said no worries, he could do that when he was out and about.

CHALK that one up, D!

It was “me” I had the issue with…not B.

This post is coming out as soon as I press publish.

My post for Wednesday stays as is …it’s about the issues I faced last year, and I will link this post within it.

Thanks so much readers and followers. I said yesterday I was not well…and it was true but with a day of easy stuff here, not going out, and eating lightly and enjoying some art…and drinking water whilst being grateful for a COOLER day, I am as well as I can be.

My excited face here: last Friday, when I got my new Apple Watch.

My other one was my ‘reward’ after 2 years of managing my cancer…May 2019 (and it’s gone to my granddaughter) The new Apple Watch has a slightly larger screen and is much lighter to wear. Very happy with it!

Denyse x