Hi Denyse, the more I am engaged in social media the more I am learning that we need to do what is right for us. All the 'Should be doing', 'Should be thinking' posts make me feel pressured and unsure about myself. I read, absorb and then take on board or discard what doesn't suit me or my lifestyle. I get where you are. For me, you know I'm a goal/intention person and a list girl. that works for me and makes me happy so that is what I do. Life is too short to do things that aren't making us happy. x
Thank you Sue for your beautiful and intentional words of kindness and support for my choices. I know we can get caught up on expectations...(high achievers, eldest too, and people pleasers) and I am doing what I can to be not only cognisant of my own needs but to do FAR less comparison these days.
Looking forward to sharing more tomorrow for WOTY.
Your approach sounds very restful and pleasant, with a focus on self-care and quality of life, very appropriate for an older person. While I'm a goal-setter (and it's helpful for me), I still go with the flow and take nothing for granted, but I've learned to enjoy the journey and to celebrate every step forward. Like you say, whatever works for each one of us. I always enjoy reading your posts and I'm glad that you continue sharing your thoughts on life. I don't comment a lot these days (hope to get back to it) but I always read.
Oh how kind you are! Thank you dear Susanne! Means a lot knowing you are reading and finding what I share of interest. I sure have had some lessons to learn over the past years and you have been there for quite a few of them! Happy New Year, warm,wishes from Australia! Heatwave tomorrow and the next day! Denyse x
Age and time are strange concepts Denyse. We recently returned to the church we attended for many years and moved on from about 15 years ago. I realized that a lot of the people we know from those earlier days are now in their 70's......and yet they seem much the same as they did 15 years ago. I think it all comes down to living life well and doing it on your own terms as you age - if setting goals works, go for it.....and if it doesn't then isn't it lovely to be able to discard that whole concept and just do what feels right? Vive la difference :)
And that we can share the different views with kindness and compassion is so good! You are so right about how we might be viewed too, in a group where we knew each other from way back then. At times in family photos (B’s family is huge) we can’t get over who looks like his (late) Dad or (late) Mum now. I am trying now to appreciate the energy and motivation I have now but not to waste it on disagreements and being ‘Right’. Getting better at this! Did you know there is a one off link up happening on Monday with Sue and Deb for word of the year? I know you generally don’t link up any more but mentioned it because it’s happening! Once a year! Ha! Thanks so much for your wise words. Denyse x
Yes I saw the WOTY link up mentioned somewhere and thought I might join in. Link parties have lost their appeal for me, but a once a year one with posts I can connect to feels more "right" and I'll pop over and check it out. I like more 'organic' connections now days rather than the more contrived ones. Another example of vive la difference. :)
You are much more organised than I am Denyse ! I don't really have any goals - haven't had them for many years , ha ha . I'm just grateful for every day . Love spending time with my dear husband, and basically live like a hermit when we are not out with the family. I still read a lot, and I listen to meditation tapes on You Tube every night to go to sleep , but that's it . We used to go to the movies every week, and go for long walks , but my reduced mobility has meant that those things are a lot harder than before so I tend not to do them at all. We watch a lot of documentaries on our PCs instead of going to the movies - easier and cheaper too !
One thing I've approached this year, is the idea that one day soon-ish .....I won't be here any more. I'd never shied away from this , but this year I've faced it head on. I've updated all of my "serious documents" like the will, power of attorney, advanced health directive . And did some instructions to my kids, for after I'm gone. What I'd like them to do ie no funeral, just a direct cremation and a party where they can play my favorite music and read out something I've written. ( Writing that made ME cry, for heavens sake ! ) And I've written two letters for my kids, full of love and reminiscences, for them to read after I'm gone - I've given them to my son in law to hand out after it's all over . I still get misty when I've been talking with my grandchildren, and I realise that I'll be lucky to see them turn 21 , go to Uni, get married etc. Specially with my little 3 year old - she probably won't have any memories of me / us together , maybe just a photo on the wall.
I'm really glad to be in contact - you often give me reminders about the journey that we are all on together ! Best wishes !
Dear Stella, I too am glad to be in touch again...especially as we are in this 'ageing' thing together.
I've been somewhat 'wrung out' from the year that was and it's something I am learning about pacing myself. I still need lessons. But my body soon tells me.
I echo all you have said about who we won't get to see grown up and more...our grandkids are aged from 28 to 9. BUT, they do have masses of memories I share with the oldest 5 via scrapbooks and more, and the younger ones, I have done photo memory books here too.
Each birthday card I adorn inside with photos of them (and us) which is a special memento of its own and they all tell me "Grandma don't stop this!".
We have a very similar view on our future planning and have put everything in place for our kids' ..as you have. My brother and I were grateful for being part of Dad's processes with his choice of solicitor and it made it relatively straightforward to honour Dad's wishes too.
Take care, and thanks again for your kind wishes and support.
Hi Denyse, the more I am engaged in social media the more I am learning that we need to do what is right for us. All the 'Should be doing', 'Should be thinking' posts make me feel pressured and unsure about myself. I read, absorb and then take on board or discard what doesn't suit me or my lifestyle. I get where you are. For me, you know I'm a goal/intention person and a list girl. that works for me and makes me happy so that is what I do. Life is too short to do things that aren't making us happy. x
Thank you Sue for your beautiful and intentional words of kindness and support for my choices. I know we can get caught up on expectations...(high achievers, eldest too, and people pleasers) and I am doing what I can to be not only cognisant of my own needs but to do FAR less comparison these days.
Looking forward to sharing more tomorrow for WOTY.
Grateful for your presence in my on-line world.
Sending all good wishes,
Denyse x
Your approach sounds very restful and pleasant, with a focus on self-care and quality of life, very appropriate for an older person. While I'm a goal-setter (and it's helpful for me), I still go with the flow and take nothing for granted, but I've learned to enjoy the journey and to celebrate every step forward. Like you say, whatever works for each one of us. I always enjoy reading your posts and I'm glad that you continue sharing your thoughts on life. I don't comment a lot these days (hope to get back to it) but I always read.
Oh how kind you are! Thank you dear Susanne! Means a lot knowing you are reading and finding what I share of interest. I sure have had some lessons to learn over the past years and you have been there for quite a few of them! Happy New Year, warm,wishes from Australia! Heatwave tomorrow and the next day! Denyse x
Age and time are strange concepts Denyse. We recently returned to the church we attended for many years and moved on from about 15 years ago. I realized that a lot of the people we know from those earlier days are now in their 70's......and yet they seem much the same as they did 15 years ago. I think it all comes down to living life well and doing it on your own terms as you age - if setting goals works, go for it.....and if it doesn't then isn't it lovely to be able to discard that whole concept and just do what feels right? Vive la difference :)
And that we can share the different views with kindness and compassion is so good! You are so right about how we might be viewed too, in a group where we knew each other from way back then. At times in family photos (B’s family is huge) we can’t get over who looks like his (late) Dad or (late) Mum now. I am trying now to appreciate the energy and motivation I have now but not to waste it on disagreements and being ‘Right’. Getting better at this! Did you know there is a one off link up happening on Monday with Sue and Deb for word of the year? I know you generally don’t link up any more but mentioned it because it’s happening! Once a year! Ha! Thanks so much for your wise words. Denyse x
Yes I saw the WOTY link up mentioned somewhere and thought I might join in. Link parties have lost their appeal for me, but a once a year one with posts I can connect to feels more "right" and I'll pop over and check it out. I like more 'organic' connections now days rather than the more contrived ones. Another example of vive la difference. :)
You are much more organised than I am Denyse ! I don't really have any goals - haven't had them for many years , ha ha . I'm just grateful for every day . Love spending time with my dear husband, and basically live like a hermit when we are not out with the family. I still read a lot, and I listen to meditation tapes on You Tube every night to go to sleep , but that's it . We used to go to the movies every week, and go for long walks , but my reduced mobility has meant that those things are a lot harder than before so I tend not to do them at all. We watch a lot of documentaries on our PCs instead of going to the movies - easier and cheaper too !
One thing I've approached this year, is the idea that one day soon-ish .....I won't be here any more. I'd never shied away from this , but this year I've faced it head on. I've updated all of my "serious documents" like the will, power of attorney, advanced health directive . And did some instructions to my kids, for after I'm gone. What I'd like them to do ie no funeral, just a direct cremation and a party where they can play my favorite music and read out something I've written. ( Writing that made ME cry, for heavens sake ! ) And I've written two letters for my kids, full of love and reminiscences, for them to read after I'm gone - I've given them to my son in law to hand out after it's all over . I still get misty when I've been talking with my grandchildren, and I realise that I'll be lucky to see them turn 21 , go to Uni, get married etc. Specially with my little 3 year old - she probably won't have any memories of me / us together , maybe just a photo on the wall.
I'm really glad to be in contact - you often give me reminders about the journey that we are all on together ! Best wishes !
Dear Stella, I too am glad to be in touch again...especially as we are in this 'ageing' thing together.
I've been somewhat 'wrung out' from the year that was and it's something I am learning about pacing myself. I still need lessons. But my body soon tells me.
I echo all you have said about who we won't get to see grown up and more...our grandkids are aged from 28 to 9. BUT, they do have masses of memories I share with the oldest 5 via scrapbooks and more, and the younger ones, I have done photo memory books here too.
Each birthday card I adorn inside with photos of them (and us) which is a special memento of its own and they all tell me "Grandma don't stop this!".
We have a very similar view on our future planning and have put everything in place for our kids' ..as you have. My brother and I were grateful for being part of Dad's processes with his choice of solicitor and it made it relatively straightforward to honour Dad's wishes too.
Take care, and thanks again for your kind wishes and support.
Denyse x