20 Comments
User's avatar
Deb's World's avatar

Hi Denyse, it's so importnat to connect the feelings with the actions as you have been doing. Well done on making this breakthrough and sharing your thoughts with us. #TeamWWWhimsy

Expand full comment
Denyse Whelan's avatar

A bit late with my reply! I was ‘Culling’ elsewhere and saw this post and had a look…sorry I did not reply! Denyse x

Expand full comment
Natalie's avatar

Denyse, Congrats on the progress you've made on your self-love journey! You have great self-awareness and tools to find inner peace. For me, I am grateful for where I am at in life and feel content with myself. Every morning when I wake up, I'm thankful for a new day and new possibilities. It's a great day when I am able to do something good for my health, my family, friends and have some fun. Have a wonderful week! #TeamWWWhimsy

Expand full comment
Denyse Whelan's avatar

Thank you Natalie for your kind and considered words. I am always pleased to read how you self-care as you provide an excellent example of 'balance' in your life.

Take care, and thanks for visiting.

Denyse x

Expand full comment
Sue Women Living Well After 50's avatar

Nothing can bring you peace but yourself - what a true statement! I'm going through a transition period and putting the focus on where I want to go in this Third Age. I will be letting go of some things which I've enjoyed but no longer enjoy and discovering new things. It is an exciting time. #TeamWhimsy

Expand full comment
Denyse Whelan's avatar

Ah Sue, if it were so easy we'd be great.

Not having a wonderful day right now - likely related to gried - and I remind myself of the structures in my life that I have embedded and can help.

On a small world note, I have been travelling to Beecroft regularly to get my sneakers fixed at a specialist cobbler's place to make them more comfy to wear ...and down on the corner is a Fella Hamilton store. I knew there was one at St Ives, I think, and it is placed well here for the ladies of Beecroft and surrounds.

Take care and enjoy what you are doing to help yourself right now too.

Denyse x

Expand full comment
Sue Women Living Well After 50's avatar

Sending a big hug your way, Denyse xx

Expand full comment
Denyse Whelan's avatar

I appreciate that hug, thanks Sue!

Expand full comment
Sam's avatar

You have such great self awareness, Denyse and you've articulated your journey to self love and self acceptance so well. I love all the quotes in this post and how you're always learning, growing and being open minded and open hearted. I know it's a bit of a cliche but for me being kind, compassionate, content and finding joy in the every day are how I value my self worth. I think we're all a work in progress though, don't you?!

Expand full comment
Denyse Whelan's avatar

Thank YOU dear Sammie. You have been such a great supporter of me since WAAAY back. Weekend link ups remember..and that was also when I posted daily.

I am enjoying the changes I make...and even when they don't stick as I might hope, I am kind and understand that I will continue this over time.

Thanks for your kindness over MANY years... I mentioned in my comment to you yesterday that I found some notes from our on-line convos 2016-2011 (I kept my responses only) and it's been so good to look back and see how far I've come and how supported I was/am

Take care,

Denyse x

Expand full comment
Jennifer Jones's avatar

Oh yes Denyse I definitely have an inner critic ....and she is quite unkind. These days, I tray to quieten that voice inside my head. I'm better at it than when I was younger, but I don't have anywhere near the self awareness that you have. You will notice I rarely post photos of myself. I haven't gotten to that point of self love yet. I'm sure your years of meditation have made your inner thoughts more clear. #TeamWWWhimsy

Expand full comment
Denyse Whelan's avatar

Thanks for your thoughtful and considered response Jennifer to my post. I know it takes some courage not to believe the inner critic and sense you are on the path!

Looking forward to how this manifests in you over time.

Take care, and thanks for being a loyal reader and commenter here.

Denyse

Expand full comment
Min's avatar

Hi Denyse, do I have an inner critic? YES and it's relentless! I think you're very brave posting all the selfies of yourself and good on you. I do it very infrequently because I always worry people will think I'm being vain when in fact I am trying to like & accept myself more. Every time I post a pic of myself I am very critical of myself and very uncomfortable for it to be seen. I'm a work in progress that's for sure. Thank you for linking up with #WWWhimsy and for always supporting me through thick & thin. xo

Expand full comment
Denyse Whelan's avatar

Thanks for your frank and honest reply Min. I think if you wanted to keep posting selfies...its a good plan...then time for that inner critic to buzz off. Remember, you will never be this age again...food for thought!

It's hard and I think you are doing a great job with self care..taking time out for you to regenerate during this hugely stressful time of your life is paramount and you are showing the way!

We've been blogging friends for a LONG time ! Always there for support of and for each other.

Denyse #TeamWWWhimsy

Expand full comment
Joanne Tracey's avatar

My inner critic is vocal indeed. Sadly, there's not just one of her - there's a group and they all show up at 2am.

Expand full comment
Denyse Whelan's avatar

And are you thinking of giving any of them 'the boot'...it is so wearing, and at 2.am. they sure do pick their times.

Sigh.

Take care,

Denyse x

Expand full comment
Leanne | crestingthehill's avatar

I have a very persistent inner critic Denyse - and I'm working diligently on shutting her up. My wake-up moment was when I discovered the difference between self-confidence and self-acceptance. Learning to accept that I'm not perfect and never will be, but that I can make progress towards being the best version of me - and what that looks like. I'm aiming for goodness, kindness, contentedness, and living with love and joy. I'm not completely there yet, but I'm a lot closer than I used to be.

It's lovely seeing you on a similar journey and finding yourself and what really matters. x

Expand full comment
Denyse Whelan's avatar

Thank you so much Leanne. This was a hard post to write but I am so glad I did. And in opening up conversations like this I see I am not alone too.

The book that has made the most difference for is one on self-compassion called Radical Self Compassion by Tara Brach. It has taken me YEARS of learning and listening to her as she explains her path along the way, to know that everyone has to be mindful of their thoughts and beliefs.

I am just starting out on not believing everything I think!

You are disovering lots too as I know from your words and inner work.

Lovely to connect like this isn't it?

Take care,

Denyse x

Expand full comment
Bernie L Cruikshank's avatar

Kudos for sharing this difficult journey to self awareness and self love. Don't we all have that voice in our head ? I can't imagine life without it, sadly. I too try for the perfectionist life and therefore fall short or those around me fall short. I work hard not to be critical of myself or others but it is hard. Take care. Bernie

Expand full comment
Denyse Whelan's avatar

Thanks so much Bernie. I feel we might all have it but for some of us it's loud and persistent and often in the tone and measure of another person...my Dad, perhaps for me...and yet I know he was very kind about me in my latter years. Memories of around 70 years figure highly.

Slowly and surely I am learning to recognise what is true and what is not but it sure is a learning curve in being self compassionate!!

But, the beauty of knowing we are not alone is that we can see some common threads for us all thereby knowing 'not just me'...

Here's to quieter and kinder voices in our heads.

Take care,

Denyse x

Expand full comment