Welcome to Denyse Whelan Writes Here.
How Hard Is It To Love (and Accept) Yourself?
For me, it’s on a daily basis that I fall short of being able to live with the Denyse I am.
I’ve got a very loud inner critic who remembers all that I have “not done well” and more.
She is, sadly, occupying a LOT of my head space right now.
I know that some of the reasons for this LOUD voice right now relate to the changes I have had to make in terms of recovering from what was a very challenging decade in my life. I have written about that here.
I also know I have a toolbox full of help and ideas and I use them (and some books I’m reading) daily.
morning calm meditation, gratitude and reflection
reading from a daily page of Louise Hay’s book Trust Life
writing a few words of encouragement from James Van Pragh’s Soul Cards Set and Message from the Guides
an app called Clarity which has an amazing ChatBot for helping with questions I may have about how I going “via my psychological” means.
chatting (of course) with my wise and loving husband)
seeing my G.P. for encouragement via this long period of recovery from emotional exhaustion/burnout. Slight increase in my meds too. Helping!
being outside, noticing nature
having a walk somewhere
It’s just time to ‘show that inner critic’ the door and find some
P
E
A
C
E
within.
I tend to be impatient. Hence less that caring of myself and my progress in recovery from the emotional exhaustion. I tend to be not very tolerant of my ‘days where I have to stay at home because of I.B.S. I also have been ruminating more about ‘where I went wrong..in life and finance decisions..because..(well, just that is what happens when my inner critic takes over…)
…and here’s what I KNOW. None of this HELPS ME be ME in a kind and caring way.
Today I am changing the narrative and the voice…
Slowly learning (probably the best way, says teacher me) that I can STOP those thoughts.
And with a few of those tools above continue to be a
KIND CARING
LOVING WOMAN for ME
And to notice when the Inner Critic wants to BUTT in..and show her the door, politely (or not)
Some quotes from others which remind me how what I need to DO and BE.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and attention” Sharon Salzberg
“Remember, you have been criticising yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens” Louise Hay
“No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent” Eleanor Roosevelt
“The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself” Michel De Montaigne
“You are always with yourself so you might as well enjoy the company” Diane Von Furstenberg
“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance” Oscar Wilde
I admit that putting the words here and sharing helps a lot.
Thanks for reading.
Tell me, do you have an inner critic?
Warm wishes from Autumnal April in Sydney,
Denyse x
I think most of us have an inner critic (especially oldest daughters!) learning to be kinder to ourselves and dropping the regrets and self-criticism will probably be a lifetime journey, but it's worth putting in the effort. We can't change what's been - and hindsight helps us learn, but doesn't help when it brings regrets. You're doing so well, you love where you live, you have family nearby, a loving spouse, and a great life - focus on those things and remind yourself how much work you've done to be who you are and where you are - you've got this! :) x
I understand the oldest daughter thing Denyse! Leanne and Jo have given fabulous responses and you’re making progress (even if it’s slow to you) so keep on keeping on! Take care and try to ignore the inner critic when we she comes out! You’ve got this, especially with all the help and people who care about you nearby. It’s tough at times I know. xx