About Trauma I Experienced.

From My Oral Cancer Diagnosis and Surgeries.

Welcome to Denyse Whelan Writes Here.

About Trauma I Experienced.

From My Oral Cancer Diagnosis and Surgeries.

Today, I am sharing here to put together my thoughts, memories and feelings from the before the time I knew I had cancer and up till the date of my oral cancer surgery and mouth reconstruction on 6 July 2017.

It was a strategy recommended by my psychologist to write about this and to acknowledge what my body and mind experienced in the weeks and days before my first cancer surgery and mouth reconstruction.

If you are already familiar with my story, as I did blog about it, I don’t expect you to read again ..but I have more insight into the WHY of my trauma now and may be that might be something helpful to you.

Take care,

Denyse x

1 & 2: 2016 "Trying Hard to Be OK" 3 & 4 early 2017: "Not Great"

After being diagnosed with emotional exhaustion/burnout in January 2025, after a decade of ‘traumatic events’ including a rare oral cancer diagnosis and surgeries, it took me some time to agree that I had found some parts of the oral cancer diagnosis and surgeries challenging. In fact they were deemed to be traumatic. I had not really accepted that because …I was OK, I no longer had cancer…but wait till next week for more.

So, what to do about that?

I wrote privately about it in my journals and I also did share some of my thoughts with a psychologist. I chatted from time to time with my husband who remembered in some ways more than I did about my reactions to the diagnosis.

Background Before Diagnosis May 2017 and Surgeries from July 2017 to May 2018.

• My mouth health. I was someone who was always prompt with dental check ups and for good reason. I did not have a healthy set of teeth which dentists put down to a variety of reasons. It was never about my care of them.

• My emotional health. It became more and more of a challenge to me after we moved from Sydney to the Central Coast in early 2015. I did not enjoy that time because of a range of reasons but it was a change borne of necessity for financial reasons.

• Combine those above, and double the stress each time I visited a dentist. Every 6 months. We moved to another area of the coast in late 2015 and in 2016 I began seeing a highly recommended dentist and we got on well.

• As well as a nervous patient and friendly dentist can…and over this time HE did all he could to try to work out why my palate (roof of mouth) was red and some of the gum had started growing over the bridge of teeth (see photo 4 above) that a Sydney dentist put there in 2011. I did a lot of co-operating to get to specialist dental people but gradually my fear stopped me from even getting into the car for drive anywhere.

This is the story of how I overcame that fear…to have the bridge of teeth removed in early April 2017. Why? Because the mouth was becoming more sore and I just HAD to find out what was under the bridge.

1. After extraction of bridge..I had a temp denture. 2. This is what cancer looked like for me. Under top lip too.

Whilst this post explains what happened five weeks after the removal as above, I can say now it was a very traumatic time because the mouth health was worsening and it would shock my GP so much she ordered an urgent CT scan. By the time I was back at the dentist (who had returned from holidays) he took quick action to refer me next door to the oral surgeon. She would be the person who would give me the news of cancer the following week on 17 May 2017. And refer me to see the “best person ever” for complicated oral surgery …on 18 May 2017

From that post above:

A VERY

TRAUMATIC

TIME

as I absorbed the details once the men (professor of head and neck surgery and his colleague an associate professor) had physically examined me AND put the scope down my throat..and talked to us both about their ‘positivity’ and prospects as best they could see (without lab results which would happen in surgery) and I signed my name to this:

• Permission for Maxillectomy (taking all of my upper mouth, jaw, remaining teeth, palate and part of my under top right lip…) where cancer was found..

• And surgery to my (says left here but right it was because of better blood flow) leg where the fibula, skin and flesh would be harvested to make a reconstructed upper mouth.

• Dental implants would be made into the ‘new jaw’ from my leg bone…and this surgery would be around `11 hours and I would be in I.C.U. for some days after, maybe with a tracheotomy (I did not need it, phew)

And that was when I really reacted emotionally and physically with tears and some shaking. Before I signed, B took me on a ‘little walk’ to here and after 1/2 of a valium I was OK to return and reassure the surgeons I understood what was entailed in cancer removal and mouth reconstruction.

View from Level 2 Chris O’Brien Lifehouse looking to Sydney University St Andrew’s College. This view became a very familiar and comforting one over time.

I wrote here late last year about the fact “I am learning this was trauma”…

I am glad I did have further information to help me heal emotionally after my realisation.

If you are only just finding out more about me, then this story, with some not great photos - cancer is not pretty - may be a bit confronting. I did write in late January about my cancer story but it was, in a way, meant to be “light-hearted”.

From that post:

These points are what I know accept as part of my trauma around oral cancer

1. My mouth. Very special place for me. Eating, Talking, Drinking, Kissing, Smiling, Singing.

2. As a chatty person, a teacher by career, and someone who communicated well I had quite some qualms about what would happen

3. As for using my mouth for …comfort eating (yes I admit it) and more, I wondered what would I do…..

4. My leg. The right leg as it was determined to have good blood supply was to have its fibula removed (apparently “we” can live without it!) and the skin and flesh with a good blood supply removed to be placed in my mouth.

5. My MOUTH! With parts of my LEG in it.

6. The ‘good news’ was that I did well, post-surgery…11 hours and so much more to but that is in the post linked below…

7. The ‘bad news’ is that I had NOT really processed the grief I feel now around my body. The losses of cancer. YES!

8. Not the losses of other parts of me.

These images also help me understand and remember how hard that time was for me….and one of the purposes of this post is to accept what happened to me.

1. Visit to Dad would be my last for 5 months. 2. Image of my 'one step at a time thinking 3. A vulnerable D. With the grandkids who visited after a year 4. Another place I sought solace 5. Admitting I had to pack for hospital stay of 10 days was hard. 6. Us in our 'day before my surgery' accommodation 7. Last selfie day before surgery. 8. Could not do 'life' without this man! 9. 2 hour drives from home to hospital/Sydney became normal.

Here I am…writing to help me heal (and understand and accept) my trauma and close to the 8th anniversary of my oral cancer diagnosis I wrote this heartfelt post.

I am grateful to those who read and comment (of course) because I need to share this story to also help with awareness of head and neck cancer. NO-ONE in the medical and dental team ever considered what I might be presenting with was cancer. This is the Australian Website where more information about head and neck cancer can be found.

I fitted NO category (age, sex or risk factors) and my cancer was so very rare too. I will always be grateful for my ‘brave push’ to have the bridge of teeth removed to uncover what was there….

And from a lot further down the track here I am with my two very special professionals at my final visit in early October 2022… And that window!

Next week’s post will be about the changes I felt and found to be ‘good news’ AFTER I woke up from surgery on 6 July 2017. And there will be some more images (of me) you may find confronting.

I was given offers of psychological assistance both before and after the diagnosis. I did continue to see the psychologist who introduced me to “exposure therapy” in 2016 and was instrumental in 2017 in helping me “understand” how I needed to see the nutritional drips I knew I would be on post surgery. Her words included “see these as helping to heal you” and later into my recovery when I was home and choosing “how to feed myself” I used the words of the dietitian as well, “to add value to what I are by ensuring I had some calcium and protein” this is something I continue to do.

Thanks for being here!

Denyse x

I am linking up with Min and friends too here for WWWhimsy and am grateful for that kind place in the world of blogging. I understand that friends Sue from here and Debbie from here are hosting for now.