Until I Acknowledge & Accept It Was Trauma Before, During & After My Oral Cancer Diagnosis.

..Nothing Will Help Me Fully Heal From Burnout.

Welcome to Denyse Whelan Writes Here.

New look to match Autumn/Winter Here in Australia.

An Update From Denyse: I am sharing this post as part of Natalie The Explorer’s Blog Link Up called Weekend Coffee Share.

I hope, that even though this subject is not ‘light’ in nature, readers who already are familiar with my oral cancer story (shared on my now closed blog) from diagnosis in May 2017 to October 2022 when I learned I was cancer free, this is an update I had to write.

In early 2025 I was diagnosed with a form of burnout my doctor called “emotional exhaustion” and that related to a series of life traumatic events over a decade…of which oral cancer, and its ramifications were labelled as that.

I found it hard to accept that it was traumatic (yes it was) because I thought being well, I had to be grateful …and now, I know, even after more reflection, it is possible to experience both gratitude and trauma.

This is my current status. I am doing well. I am starting hand writing my stories next week to share my story, JUST with me….”writing it out” is good for emotional healing. My G.P. saw me today and knows I am doing better thanks to my self-care and getting help psychologically.

I am now re-sending this post to subscribers and sharing with Natalie and her community.

Thank you Natalie for the link up.

Denyse.

Sydney Australia

24 May 2025.

Until I Acknowledge & Accept It Was Trauma Before, During & After My Oral Cancer Diagnosis….Nothing Will Help Me Fully Heal From Burnout

(longest title ever for me)

Monday 19 May 2025.

Rainy, miserable outside and inside me, yes it was for me as well.

And I am writing to share today…not that you needed to be here…it was enough for poor B …and me.

I am acknowledging and accepting it was traumatic for me before during and after my oral cancer diagnosis in May 2017, and I am stating here and now, that my intention is to do (and be) all I can to help me heal.

• Today I was “supposed to go” to a medical scan, not urgent.

• Next Monday I was “booked in to see my prosthodontist for a check up after a long break”

• And no I could not go anywhere today..the scan people were kind.

• And so was my lovely prosthodontist when I spoke to him. He UNDERSTOOD when I told him I am admitting to be traumatised by my cancer and the treatments and he wanted assurances I was getting help. I gave him the news that I was.

• I also made a booking to have a telehealth appointment on Friday. with the psychologist I thought I was finished with 2 weeks ago.
  

Here’s a photo to show you “how I was doing today”,…sometimes we need to shed those tears to heal, right?

What happened to change the tenor of my recovery story?

I know I wrote just this post here a few days ago.

This…from my weekend…and the accompanying notes from my instagram post.

I have hesitated about sharing more about my diagnosis of emotional exhaustion aka burnout ….and progress

Today (tonight) I decided to do this…the image and words.

The last two weeks have been both a whirlwind of “getting my confidence back”… saying “yes” a lot … shopping to cook and stock up again…helping out where I can…& attending appointments….

Until yesterday came…the date was 8 years since my dx and my gut was telling me what I tried to ignore. That it was a traumatic memory.

And today I was given the message with the reappearance of IBS …and the wake up call from my nervous system that NO I CANNOT do it all … as I thought …ha!

So recovery is going to look different now & I am going to honour this recovering body more! Seeing my GP at the end of the week.

And exploring more about the Polyvagal system because I can feel and and understand more about where my IBS originates.

Still doing daily @nerva.ibs app..11 weeks each day and really enjoying it! Makes me rest! Art of course and just enjoying more at home.

I’m also kind of hesitant to write than I have for now….and please be assured that my intention is to acknowledge and accept more about the feelings and thoughts I had/have about how it is to be told about the ways in which your body is going to be changed…particularly in such an intimate space..the mouth.

16 May Before...and After. 4th & final surgery

And this memory from May 2018.

Seven years ago ….speaking before my 4th & final post cancer surgery inside my mouth to help reconstruct it using my thigh skin …

Today, 19 May 2025, has been a pivotal one about my feelings around what I experienced before, during & after my years with a rare oral cancer ….

And I know NOW, that the body does not let us forget what traumatised us.

It's been a BIG day emotionally here for the reasons above.

And I’m using writing as one of my tools for healing

“You can't heal from what you don't admit to” is my saying I am using right now… and I’m sending 7 years ago Denyse a BIG hug too.

From Me

Awaiting My Two New Books About Writing to Heal and the Book to Write In.

I have found with my personal writing lately it is far more effective to actually hand write. Something about the message and brain/hand connection.

So this old left hander will do her best to make sure I can read it.

And now, I hope, too, to include more of what I am learning from Deb Dana, LCSW, leading clinical translator of Stephen Porges’ influential Polyvagal Theory, who is the person who first acknowledged and wrote about “glimmers”. That, along with my learning more about my vagal nerves and autonomic nervous system will be a wonderful help along the way of my trauma story.

Yesterday I took photos of this tree to mark my ‘first’ glimmer I guess.

Me today..oh what a day.

Thanks to B and my own systems of help, I am doing OK and being MUCH kinder to myself too.

Thanks for reading.

Denyse x