There's a lot here but I'll focus on just one part - I love that you feel you got closer to your mum even after her death. I think the 'child' you was the relationship you had with her but now the adult you is adjusting that relationship. I think that's still a valid representation of the bond. As they say, a relationship doesn't end just because someone isn't there.
As for all the legacy she left you, there is a line in a Philip Larkin poem "What will survive of us is love.". I think she put into you her love, and you hold on to her (in many different ways) with love.
And to end on something completely different - I can not believe your 21st picture! In my head you are always the you I see now. Even though we've been kicking around for 15-16 years and I've been seeing a changing picture. I've seen many of you as a young teacher but none of that sticks in my brain. So seeing this long haired, teen looking girl just blew me away! Ha! Our brains are so funny. What we 'see' in our memory. Lovely to see some of these pics!
Wow! Thanks for your kind & perceptive words & take on this dear friend!
I know.. long haired me from early teaching days into marriage & then with a child who pulled on it & I had no time for hair care.. I became a short haired person! My daughter & I always say we are grateful for my mum's good hair! Ha!
And her smile in my case!
Glad to see you getting to SWFestival! I went a few times when it was at the Wharf
A lovely post Denyse sharing your thoughts on and memories of your mother. My relationship with my mother was quite stormy so we never developed a close one at all. Sadly even as an adult I never quite knew how to have a conversation with her.
Looking at your last photo Denyse I immediately thought that if you hadn’t told us ‘she was your mum’ I would have thought she was an older sister- you definitely favoured her in your looks
Oh how kind and lovely of you to share your thoughts about me and Mum Catherine.
I 'never' clicked with Mum in some ways because she didn't always understand my professional role and why I "preferred to be at school as a teacher" but she came to be our back up for many reasons.
And nothing could part Mum (and Dad when they retired) wanting to help out, make birthday cakes, attend school open days and have our kids for sleepovers and even take them on holidays.
We did have similar views of hair care, colourful clothes, (I was never her petite size though) and cooking. I did not take after her as a sporty person preferring to read books!
But with the many years left after Mum died, Dad and I had good conversations about their life together and some of the hardships she suffered.
In fact there are still things I want to ask him..."hey Dad..." oops too late!!
A beautiful tribute to your Mum, Denyse. I often wish I had more conversations with Mum about her life before she died. I don’t have many photos either. I’m sure you treasure yours and I think I even saw you made some recipes from your Mum’s recipes which is lovely. Xx
Ah Sue, I knew it was a sensitive topic but as Dad got so much of my time & attention for 17 years I felt quite compelled to look more deeply at Mum’s life. I know we were opposites in many ways but we had cooking & looking after grandkids in common. It was through conversations with Dad I was able to get a better picture of Mum’s life. The last 2 years were really hard on her physically because none of us knew what was causing her pain etc. But we will always have the lovely memory of her 80th! And I captured a little bit of her on video & my younger grandkids who’ve never met Mum loved hearing her voice!
Thanks Deb, I appreciate your kind words. Dad did take up a lot of 'life space' for 17 years for me...and it was good to get back to Mum for this particular tribute and memories made.
Take care,
Denyse x
P.S. SO not fair that part of NSW is FLOODING at record levels and you are not getting any rain. Sigh.
Hi Denyse, that was a lovely read and to learn more about your Mother. I love all the photos but particularly that one of you standing beside your seated mother, cutting your 21st birthday cake. How wonderful to have memories captured in photographs. Mother's Day was hard for me this year. It's only been six months since we lost Mum. Grief is still so raw. Thanks for linking up with #WWWhimsy - enjoy the rest of your week! xo
Thanks Min. I did deliberately leave this post for after Mother's Day. I was also aware it would have been a hard day for you too.
I'm glad to have made the memories come together in a more loving way and it's via my cooking I guess that I began to think more of her influence, guidance and love.
Take care,
Denyse x
PS Grief is weird and raw. And it just happens. xx
She seems like such a lovely woman Denyse - and I can see where you get your smile from. Mothers Day is always a good opportunity to remember our own mums as well as being appreciated by our children.
Thank you Leanne. I decided against putting it up for Mother's Day as it seems to evoke a range of emotions.
Doing it now also helped me reflect on the attributes I have from Mum. Dad was such a dominant force in my life, particularly those years after Mum died, that she became somewhat overshadowed.
Now, thanks to cooking and other memories it was time to celebrate and commemorate my mother.
There's a lot here but I'll focus on just one part - I love that you feel you got closer to your mum even after her death. I think the 'child' you was the relationship you had with her but now the adult you is adjusting that relationship. I think that's still a valid representation of the bond. As they say, a relationship doesn't end just because someone isn't there.
As for all the legacy she left you, there is a line in a Philip Larkin poem "What will survive of us is love.". I think she put into you her love, and you hold on to her (in many different ways) with love.
And to end on something completely different - I can not believe your 21st picture! In my head you are always the you I see now. Even though we've been kicking around for 15-16 years and I've been seeing a changing picture. I've seen many of you as a young teacher but none of that sticks in my brain. So seeing this long haired, teen looking girl just blew me away! Ha! Our brains are so funny. What we 'see' in our memory. Lovely to see some of these pics!
Wow! Thanks for your kind & perceptive words & take on this dear friend!
I know.. long haired me from early teaching days into marriage & then with a child who pulled on it & I had no time for hair care.. I became a short haired person! My daughter & I always say we are grateful for my mum's good hair! Ha!
And her smile in my case!
Glad to see you getting to SWFestival! I went a few times when it was at the Wharf
Take care
Denyse x
A lovely post Denyse sharing your thoughts on and memories of your mother. My relationship with my mother was quite stormy so we never developed a close one at all. Sadly even as an adult I never quite knew how to have a conversation with her.
Looking at your last photo Denyse I immediately thought that if you hadn’t told us ‘she was your mum’ I would have thought she was an older sister- you definitely favoured her in your looks
Oh how kind and lovely of you to share your thoughts about me and Mum Catherine.
I 'never' clicked with Mum in some ways because she didn't always understand my professional role and why I "preferred to be at school as a teacher" but she came to be our back up for many reasons.
And nothing could part Mum (and Dad when they retired) wanting to help out, make birthday cakes, attend school open days and have our kids for sleepovers and even take them on holidays.
We did have similar views of hair care, colourful clothes, (I was never her petite size though) and cooking. I did not take after her as a sporty person preferring to read books!
But with the many years left after Mum died, Dad and I had good conversations about their life together and some of the hardships she suffered.
In fact there are still things I want to ask him..."hey Dad..." oops too late!!
Lovely to see you and read your post too.
Take care,
Denyse x
A beautiful tribute to your Mum, Denyse. I often wish I had more conversations with Mum about her life before she died. I don’t have many photos either. I’m sure you treasure yours and I think I even saw you made some recipes from your Mum’s recipes which is lovely. Xx
Ah Sue, I knew it was a sensitive topic but as Dad got so much of my time & attention for 17 years I felt quite compelled to look more deeply at Mum’s life. I know we were opposites in many ways but we had cooking & looking after grandkids in common. It was through conversations with Dad I was able to get a better picture of Mum’s life. The last 2 years were really hard on her physically because none of us knew what was causing her pain etc. But we will always have the lovely memory of her 80th! And I captured a little bit of her on video & my younger grandkids who’ve never met Mum loved hearing her voice!
Take care,
Denyse x
A lovely post Denyse. It’s great to have these memories and stories of your mother. #teamwwwhimsy
Thanks Deb, I appreciate your kind words. Dad did take up a lot of 'life space' for 17 years for me...and it was good to get back to Mum for this particular tribute and memories made.
Take care,
Denyse x
P.S. SO not fair that part of NSW is FLOODING at record levels and you are not getting any rain. Sigh.
Hi Denyse, that was a lovely read and to learn more about your Mother. I love all the photos but particularly that one of you standing beside your seated mother, cutting your 21st birthday cake. How wonderful to have memories captured in photographs. Mother's Day was hard for me this year. It's only been six months since we lost Mum. Grief is still so raw. Thanks for linking up with #WWWhimsy - enjoy the rest of your week! xo
Thanks Min. I did deliberately leave this post for after Mother's Day. I was also aware it would have been a hard day for you too.
I'm glad to have made the memories come together in a more loving way and it's via my cooking I guess that I began to think more of her influence, guidance and love.
Take care,
Denyse x
PS Grief is weird and raw. And it just happens. xx
She seems like such a lovely woman Denyse - and I can see where you get your smile from. Mothers Day is always a good opportunity to remember our own mums as well as being appreciated by our children.
Thank you Leanne. I decided against putting it up for Mother's Day as it seems to evoke a range of emotions.
Doing it now also helped me reflect on the attributes I have from Mum. Dad was such a dominant force in my life, particularly those years after Mum died, that she became somewhat overshadowed.
Now, thanks to cooking and other memories it was time to celebrate and commemorate my mother.
Take care,
Denyse x