I like the ‘idea’ of travelling interstate to experience places I’ve only seen via my phone - but the reality of the practicalities and the mental and physical energetic output is beyond my capabilities right now. And that’s okay. Life and grief residue touches everything. Hat tip for you for being so self aware Denyse 😘💜
You really do need to do what is right for you and not what you think you should be doing. The world (near or far) will be there when you're ready for it.
Hi Denyse, I'm sorry you had to cancel your travel plans but you must do what is right for you. Travelling can be tiring and on your own it can be daunting and overwhelming which we don't really need. Your day trips are always fun and can bring sparks of joy. We have just planned a quick 5 night get away to Caloundra for some rest and relaxation in November. Close to home but we are looking forward to having some time away from life. Take care, Denyse. Sue, #TeamWWWhimsy
I love that you and M are planning to do that soon. You are right about needing a break from 'life' stuff.
I am disappointed not to have plans but also relieved so that is partly my state of mind now as I realise that the anticipatory grief for Dad started around this time a year ago, and then there was his death. A relief and still a shock.
It's having had his presence (which could be far too bossy and judgemental) in my life for over 74 years that I am releasing myself from slowly. That is both freeing and hard.
Take care and your kind support is always appreciated.
I said it last time, more than anything, the travel you are talking about is for pleasure. If it's causing stress, anxiety or anything else, then it's not worth it. Yes you can push yourself but why? Just travel to somewhere else. Canberra or Wollongong are equally lovely adventures. Daytrips can give you the same spark as a week away in another country.
And you already know I love travel. Off again on the weekend! I'm with Joanne above - I hate the travel part. Scared of flying....ha!
It sounds simple when you write it like that but it is far more complex for me.
I wanted to make connections with my Dad's forebears and see the lands where they lived before coming to Australia after WW1. I am interested in that but not tripping around in a group looking at what a leader thinks we need to see.
And being away from home is hard when all of our comforts (and my husband) are here.
So, yes to ideas and no to no planning yet.
I am a creative person so whilst I accept that grief is still pretty fresh I will come up with some ideas.
Take care and I know you love to get away so enjoy.
I do like to travel (well, actually I hate the actual travel part but I love being a new place to explore)... but I do have to be in the right mood for it.
Hi Denyse, Day trips and staying home days are all good. I value them just as much as I value longer or overseas trips. I'm usually a 'head' person when decisions are made. I'm travelling frequently now while I'm still able to do it. I hope you have a safe drive across Sydney and a good sightseeing visit to the NB and Peninsula. #TeamWWWhimsy
Thanks Natalie for your kind words and perspective.
One thing Australians have as a definite disadvantage is how far away our country is for any kind of travel I am thinking about. It's close to 24 hours to UK from here and just under that to get to the east coast of USA.
I am continuing to find out what I can enjoy with greater ease and even though my day to trip to the beaches did not happen because of the weather it will!
Grief is a long journey in itself although it’s a journey none of us want to be on. As always you’ve listened to your inner self and done what’s right for you. Better to cancel a trip before it’s taken place than adventure alone and realise you’ve made a mistake. You’ll know when and where is right and I’ll be right here ready to virtually accompany you xx
You know this only too well Sam, and thank you for your kind words and perceptions.
I am letting go for now of any more notions to travel as it was ...as they say..."doing my head in" and am taking life as I have it now very gently and in a calm way.
Hi Denyse, while this must have been a hard decision to make (and write about) it is obviously the right thing for you at the moment. You need time and although you're a go-getter it can be hard to actually do it all when other things like grief are taking precedence.
I often have great ideas and my head gets carried away, sometimes I'm disappointed as my expectations are high but I'm used to that side of me now!
Take care and don't beat yourself up x #TeamWWWhimsy
I need to continue to be kind and compassionate towards myself as it has only just occurred to me with 'pre grief' from around this time last year around Dad's health...and then after his death I have been managing quite a lot.
Nevertheless I remain grateful for all I have health wise these days and B is going well so I am going to 'mosey' along this life path into next year and then have a look at what MIGHT or MIIGHT not be what I want to do.
Life is very short really and this Sunday I am attending a 'pre wake' event for a school friend who is unlikely to turn 75 in late October..we have known each other since we were 10 and in same primary class!
I hope you and G continue to enjoy your wonderful visit to the family.
Sometimes we have to take the long route to a destination or decision Denyse. It seems to have you've thought it through and know what it is you need at the moment. Who knows, this may change. I'm not sure that we will travel overseas again. I seem to have turned into a home body, and would much prefer to stay home, or do short trips from home. #TeamWWWhimsy
Thanks for your wisdom and kind comment Jennifer. My state of emotional health is quite in flux right now and doing as I am by 'not planning' is me understanding the timing is not right.
I know 'time' does heal and help us, but by this time next year I will be close to 76 and "maybe I have left my opportunity far too late"...I can accept that. Life does not give us what we want when we think we need it!
Hi Denyse, I can understand your decision to put a hold on any O/S travel right now and be more considered and private in your decision making. Grief has an impact far deeper than many realise, and grief is not just for the loss of a loved one. It can be grief for those alive and ailing, for our youth, for the loss of a certain phase of life, so many things. Travel needs to be organised with our limitations and expectations in mind. I'm sure you'll find the right travel plans for you - even if just within Australia and even if just short trips. There's no rules - you do what suits you! Thanks for linking up with #WWWhimsy - enjoy the rest of your week! xo
Grief can take a long and heavy toll. Add in health issues and that can double or triple. It's wise to respect what your body and your head are saying.
That reassessment of ‘things’ goes on continuously doesn’t it Denyse. There’s a certain disappointment in deciding/having to change plans but as the saying goes ‘it’s all for the good’ because we often end up doing something that proves to be a better choice.
Looking forward to hearing (when you’re ready to tell us) those plans that are whirling round your head…
Hi Denyse - I think there's an expectation that travel comes with retirement. For those who love the challenges and excitement of vacationing away, it's the perfect combination. Ross and I discuss travel regularly as we have the funds and the time.... but..... neither of us has a strong desire to head off for several weeks at this point in time. We love our home, we love the area we live in, we find plenty to occupy ourselves with, and there's just not the urge to leave it all and get on a plane.
I'm okay with that, and maybe the urge will come later, but in the meantime it's perfectly okay to be settled, to be content, to enjoy the lovely places closer to home - and to do what feels right, rather than to push too hard in the wrong direction. I think you're learning your boundaries and working within them - and that sounds pretty good to me (and you also have something to look forward to if everything aligns further down the road for overseas travel).
Thanks Leanne for your insight and helpful words on this topic.
I know that I can be someone who embraces the chance to try something ...then over time it can fade and then some doubts emerge. For me, knowing myself better now, I am allowing more time to pass and to be able to make decisions based on what is for me.
I do like newness and experiencing new places and so on but I do need to work on where I can place my energies.
And it will eventually be something I can accept for what is.
I like the ‘idea’ of travelling interstate to experience places I’ve only seen via my phone - but the reality of the practicalities and the mental and physical energetic output is beyond my capabilities right now. And that’s okay. Life and grief residue touches everything. Hat tip for you for being so self aware Denyse 😘💜
You are so aware of what it’s about Sandra and I am grateful to be learning from you. Your second last sentence nails it.
Thank you my dear friend, thank you!
Denyse x
We all learn from each other by speaking our truths - silence fuels despair, even when we don’t really think it can. Love to you 😘😘😘
You really do need to do what is right for you and not what you think you should be doing. The world (near or far) will be there when you're ready for it.
Ah yes, those wise words do ring true. Just hard to take them in at times. Thanks so much Jo.
Take care,
Denyse x
Hi Denyse, I'm sorry you had to cancel your travel plans but you must do what is right for you. Travelling can be tiring and on your own it can be daunting and overwhelming which we don't really need. Your day trips are always fun and can bring sparks of joy. We have just planned a quick 5 night get away to Caloundra for some rest and relaxation in November. Close to home but we are looking forward to having some time away from life. Take care, Denyse. Sue, #TeamWWWhimsy
I love that you and M are planning to do that soon. You are right about needing a break from 'life' stuff.
I am disappointed not to have plans but also relieved so that is partly my state of mind now as I realise that the anticipatory grief for Dad started around this time a year ago, and then there was his death. A relief and still a shock.
It's having had his presence (which could be far too bossy and judgemental) in my life for over 74 years that I am releasing myself from slowly. That is both freeing and hard.
Take care and your kind support is always appreciated.
Denyse x
I said it last time, more than anything, the travel you are talking about is for pleasure. If it's causing stress, anxiety or anything else, then it's not worth it. Yes you can push yourself but why? Just travel to somewhere else. Canberra or Wollongong are equally lovely adventures. Daytrips can give you the same spark as a week away in another country.
And you already know I love travel. Off again on the weekend! I'm with Joanne above - I hate the travel part. Scared of flying....ha!
It sounds simple when you write it like that but it is far more complex for me.
I wanted to make connections with my Dad's forebears and see the lands where they lived before coming to Australia after WW1. I am interested in that but not tripping around in a group looking at what a leader thinks we need to see.
And being away from home is hard when all of our comforts (and my husband) are here.
So, yes to ideas and no to no planning yet.
I am a creative person so whilst I accept that grief is still pretty fresh I will come up with some ideas.
Take care and I know you love to get away so enjoy.
Denyse x
I do like to travel (well, actually I hate the actual travel part but I love being a new place to explore)... but I do have to be in the right mood for it.
Good way to look at it Joanne.
I agree!!
Take care,
Denyse x
Hi Denyse, Day trips and staying home days are all good. I value them just as much as I value longer or overseas trips. I'm usually a 'head' person when decisions are made. I'm travelling frequently now while I'm still able to do it. I hope you have a safe drive across Sydney and a good sightseeing visit to the NB and Peninsula. #TeamWWWhimsy
Thanks Natalie for your kind words and perspective.
One thing Australians have as a definite disadvantage is how far away our country is for any kind of travel I am thinking about. It's close to 24 hours to UK from here and just under that to get to the east coast of USA.
I am continuing to find out what I can enjoy with greater ease and even though my day to trip to the beaches did not happen because of the weather it will!
Take care,
Denyse x
Grief is a long journey in itself although it’s a journey none of us want to be on. As always you’ve listened to your inner self and done what’s right for you. Better to cancel a trip before it’s taken place than adventure alone and realise you’ve made a mistake. You’ll know when and where is right and I’ll be right here ready to virtually accompany you xx
You know this only too well Sam, and thank you for your kind words and perceptions.
I am letting go for now of any more notions to travel as it was ...as they say..."doing my head in" and am taking life as I have it now very gently and in a calm way.
I appreciate your love and care always,
Denyse x
Hi Denyse, while this must have been a hard decision to make (and write about) it is obviously the right thing for you at the moment. You need time and although you're a go-getter it can be hard to actually do it all when other things like grief are taking precedence.
I often have great ideas and my head gets carried away, sometimes I'm disappointed as my expectations are high but I'm used to that side of me now!
Take care and don't beat yourself up x #TeamWWWhimsy
I know you understand this well Deb. Thank you.
I need to continue to be kind and compassionate towards myself as it has only just occurred to me with 'pre grief' from around this time last year around Dad's health...and then after his death I have been managing quite a lot.
Nevertheless I remain grateful for all I have health wise these days and B is going well so I am going to 'mosey' along this life path into next year and then have a look at what MIGHT or MIIGHT not be what I want to do.
Life is very short really and this Sunday I am attending a 'pre wake' event for a school friend who is unlikely to turn 75 in late October..we have known each other since we were 10 and in same primary class!
I hope you and G continue to enjoy your wonderful visit to the family.
Take care,
Denyse x
Sometimes we have to take the long route to a destination or decision Denyse. It seems to have you've thought it through and know what it is you need at the moment. Who knows, this may change. I'm not sure that we will travel overseas again. I seem to have turned into a home body, and would much prefer to stay home, or do short trips from home. #TeamWWWhimsy
Thanks for your wisdom and kind comment Jennifer. My state of emotional health is quite in flux right now and doing as I am by 'not planning' is me understanding the timing is not right.
I know 'time' does heal and help us, but by this time next year I will be close to 76 and "maybe I have left my opportunity far too late"...I can accept that. Life does not give us what we want when we think we need it!
Take care and thanks again for your kindness.
Denyse x
Hi Denyse, I can understand your decision to put a hold on any O/S travel right now and be more considered and private in your decision making. Grief has an impact far deeper than many realise, and grief is not just for the loss of a loved one. It can be grief for those alive and ailing, for our youth, for the loss of a certain phase of life, so many things. Travel needs to be organised with our limitations and expectations in mind. I'm sure you'll find the right travel plans for you - even if just within Australia and even if just short trips. There's no rules - you do what suits you! Thanks for linking up with #WWWhimsy - enjoy the rest of your week! xo
Thanks for your wise words and kindness Min.
The awareness of grief as it is and has been helps me be more compassionate towards myself and that is a good thing.
Take care and I hope you feel better each day...
Denyse x
Grief can take a long and heavy toll. Add in health issues and that can double or triple. It's wise to respect what your body and your head are saying.
Thank you Bernie for understanding this so well.
I appreciate your wisdom.
Take care,
Denyse x
That reassessment of ‘things’ goes on continuously doesn’t it Denyse. There’s a certain disappointment in deciding/having to change plans but as the saying goes ‘it’s all for the good’ because we often end up doing something that proves to be a better choice.
Looking forward to hearing (when you’re ready to tell us) those plans that are whirling round your head…
Take care
Cathy (Still Waters)
Thanks for your wise words Cathy, borne of experience and time.
I am, as they say, allowing time to pass and matters to settle themselves such as big decisions re a trip OS.
B and I have a regular saying these days "because we can now, doesn't mean we have to"...words to that effect.
I am allowing the ideas to sit with me and accept some that may appear but definitely no action on them!
And I did not get my drive in today because the weather was cloudy and who knew what was coming.
Your words are always appreciated.
Take care,
Denyse x
Hi Denyse - I think there's an expectation that travel comes with retirement. For those who love the challenges and excitement of vacationing away, it's the perfect combination. Ross and I discuss travel regularly as we have the funds and the time.... but..... neither of us has a strong desire to head off for several weeks at this point in time. We love our home, we love the area we live in, we find plenty to occupy ourselves with, and there's just not the urge to leave it all and get on a plane.
I'm okay with that, and maybe the urge will come later, but in the meantime it's perfectly okay to be settled, to be content, to enjoy the lovely places closer to home - and to do what feels right, rather than to push too hard in the wrong direction. I think you're learning your boundaries and working within them - and that sounds pretty good to me (and you also have something to look forward to if everything aligns further down the road for overseas travel).
Thanks Leanne for your insight and helpful words on this topic.
I know that I can be someone who embraces the chance to try something ...then over time it can fade and then some doubts emerge. For me, knowing myself better now, I am allowing more time to pass and to be able to make decisions based on what is for me.
I do like newness and experiencing new places and so on but I do need to work on where I can place my energies.
And it will eventually be something I can accept for what is.
Thanks for your wise words.
Take care,
Denyse x