I'm glad that with time and personal healing, you were able to return to the place that had been the scene of trauma for you, Denyse. Also, I find it inspirational that you were able to contribute so much to so many over the length of your career. You are an amazing example of courage and resilience in so many ways. Thank you for being willing to share these glimpses into your life.
I am glad you got recognition in the end, and I'm glad you are healing. There's a lot there which you know all about, and have been healing (go you!). The big thing that you don't seem to talk about is the impact you had on thousands of young people.Throughout your career you would have helped people see the direction they could take in life, you would have sparked interests and passions and most importantly, you would have taught kindness and helped kids build their self esteem. Your teaching expereince was something you expereinced but you shared it in the most impactful way with so many children that came through your classroom door.. Don't ever lose sight of that. There are two sides to a teaching career. Obviously, one was an emotional path for you, but don't forget the stellar job you did with the most important part of teaching. And think about all the lives you might have changed for the better.
Well aren't you the kind and astute reader of this...and I know you are passionate about schools and education. I have, at times, forgotten of the impacts we can make as teachers and school executive and meeting up with my two friends who are also retired principals reminds me that we do and have.
I will continuing posting from time to time about my career with a newer, and more compassionate view of myself.
I am glad you took it the way I meant it. I actually just popped back to apologise (I need to let people feel what they need to feel & process). But just as we are not the sum of our worst deeds, a career can’t be defined and diminished to a single moment. It was very awful and difficult for you but none of it, not any of it reflects all the wonderful, and at time life changing, ways you impacted kids lives.
It’s good to hear you’ve turned the corner (so to speak) and returned to the scene of so much stress and discomfort. What a great day that must have been - a moment in time unseen by others but such an achievement for you.
I still remember those feelings of sadness when I had to drive past a practice I worked at in a previous life. One can only take so much so I resigned after difficult times with another staff member……problem was she was local as well and shopped where I did…..I clearly remember crossing the street on several occasions so I wouldn’t have to pass her in the street.
Oh gosh, Cathy, that IS hard on us when we see the very people who have caused us to do the drastic thing of leaving. I remember writing letters (that were never sent) to the 3 or so staff members who were preparing to 'ambush' me...grrrr.
I was fortunate not to live in the area and it helped that I did not have to drive past the school...I eventually gave myself gradual exposure over time to the drive but I did look out for me too.
I am so sorry you experienced something like I did.
I don’t know your full story but it sounds as if you had an extremely stressful and traumatic time. It’s funny how our brains remember geographical locations that caused us pain and stops us returning to help protect us. Your recent trip back to your old school is hopefully an indication of the healing you have accomplished. I’m also glad you had a proper retirement ceremony to recognise the wonderful work you undoubtedly contributed throughout your career.
I've been able to blog about this whole story over the period 2012-2023 and it helped.
That blog is now defunct after the website management stopped doing that kind of hosting.
It was the right time, for me, to make the change to Substack and write more about more..ha!
I have driven past the school a few times before this occasion... and it was this time I felt, so close to the anniversary of leaving, that it was TIME to own up to my worth as a person and principal!
The proper retirement event was an amazing one and organised because I happened to mention on twitter in 2018 that I had never had the correct wording on my service medal and it took off from there!
So proud of you Denyse and pleased that you were finally able to go back to the school. We're all proud of you too!
I understand the trauma to some extent, as I still have many scars about my redundancy situation and don't ever ask for information on my previous workplace which is hard because I'm friends with people who still work there, but in different roles. They know not to mention it to me now and always comment on how much more relaxed I am these days!
Thanks SO much Deb, because I "know how you know" and understand the feelings of betrayal and how things were done at your workplace.
The issues I raised as being reasons for my breakdown are still happening in NSW Dept of Ed so it's endemic. Some of us (ok, me!) just had to leave because I was at (or over) my capacity to self manage.
It took me a very long time to be able to acknowledge a few of the people I still knew from the school...and in fact a blogging friend had her daughters go to the school and she would fill me in.
Given it's over 22 years almost all teachers who were part of those who 'wanted to see me' are certainly retired.
I was incredibly indebted to my friend who offered me work in 2004 which helped heal...the inner teacher me ...
Take care, and I know it's something you really do get...sadly.
That sounds like some wonderful healing! You should be proud of all your hard work but I am so glad you finally got the closure you needed to put everything behind you.
Pleased those scars are healing and hope you’re feeling not just proud of what you achieved in your teaching career but how far you’ve come since. I salute you!
It's so good to read that you have come to terms with all that happened in your teaching career. It sounds like choosing to go back to teaching was exactly what you needed for closure. #TeamWWWhimsy
Hi Denyse, you've come a long way. Good on you! I still haven't been anywhere near my old workplace. Thanks for linking up with #WWWhimsy - enjoy your week! xo
Hi Denyse - it's such a great feeling when you've resolved all the stress and upset and can go back without it triggering you. I've recently returned to a setting where I have some casual contact with the woman who made my life so crazy back in my old job. Even the thought of her used to get my heart racing and my flight or fight going full tilt......this time (after 5+ years) I could be in her general vicinity and feel nothing - I don't want to be her friend or even engage with her, but (like you) I could be there without the gut churning, and that's a huge step in the right direction.
Oh Leanne, thank you kindly. That is a big breakthrough for you too. I love that we can connect and share these "life" issues which were so awful...then...and that we can understand the progress we have made.
I'm glad that with time and personal healing, you were able to return to the place that had been the scene of trauma for you, Denyse. Also, I find it inspirational that you were able to contribute so much to so many over the length of your career. You are an amazing example of courage and resilience in so many ways. Thank you for being willing to share these glimpses into your life.
Thank you for your kind words Christie.
Taking the time & allowing healing to happen is something I am pleased I could do.
And I know deep inside myself now I did make a difference to others in my career.
Writing about it all & having insight helped me!
Take care.
Denyse x
I am glad you got recognition in the end, and I'm glad you are healing. There's a lot there which you know all about, and have been healing (go you!). The big thing that you don't seem to talk about is the impact you had on thousands of young people.Throughout your career you would have helped people see the direction they could take in life, you would have sparked interests and passions and most importantly, you would have taught kindness and helped kids build their self esteem. Your teaching expereince was something you expereinced but you shared it in the most impactful way with so many children that came through your classroom door.. Don't ever lose sight of that. There are two sides to a teaching career. Obviously, one was an emotional path for you, but don't forget the stellar job you did with the most important part of teaching. And think about all the lives you might have changed for the better.
Well aren't you the kind and astute reader of this...and I know you are passionate about schools and education. I have, at times, forgotten of the impacts we can make as teachers and school executive and meeting up with my two friends who are also retired principals reminds me that we do and have.
I will continuing posting from time to time about my career with a newer, and more compassionate view of myself.
I loved that you could see and remind me of this!
Thank you...
Take care,
Denyse x
I am glad you took it the way I meant it. I actually just popped back to apologise (I need to let people feel what they need to feel & process). But just as we are not the sum of our worst deeds, a career can’t be defined and diminished to a single moment. It was very awful and difficult for you but none of it, not any of it reflects all the wonderful, and at time life changing, ways you impacted kids lives.
It was PERFECT!
It’s good to hear you’ve turned the corner (so to speak) and returned to the scene of so much stress and discomfort. What a great day that must have been - a moment in time unseen by others but such an achievement for you.
I still remember those feelings of sadness when I had to drive past a practice I worked at in a previous life. One can only take so much so I resigned after difficult times with another staff member……problem was she was local as well and shopped where I did…..I clearly remember crossing the street on several occasions so I wouldn’t have to pass her in the street.
Oh gosh, Cathy, that IS hard on us when we see the very people who have caused us to do the drastic thing of leaving. I remember writing letters (that were never sent) to the 3 or so staff members who were preparing to 'ambush' me...grrrr.
I was fortunate not to live in the area and it helped that I did not have to drive past the school...I eventually gave myself gradual exposure over time to the drive but I did look out for me too.
I am so sorry you experienced something like I did.
Sigh.
Take care,
Denyse x
I don’t know your full story but it sounds as if you had an extremely stressful and traumatic time. It’s funny how our brains remember geographical locations that caused us pain and stops us returning to help protect us. Your recent trip back to your old school is hopefully an indication of the healing you have accomplished. I’m also glad you had a proper retirement ceremony to recognise the wonderful work you undoubtedly contributed throughout your career.
Thank you so much Janine.
I've been able to blog about this whole story over the period 2012-2023 and it helped.
That blog is now defunct after the website management stopped doing that kind of hosting.
It was the right time, for me, to make the change to Substack and write more about more..ha!
I have driven past the school a few times before this occasion... and it was this time I felt, so close to the anniversary of leaving, that it was TIME to own up to my worth as a person and principal!
The proper retirement event was an amazing one and organised because I happened to mention on twitter in 2018 that I had never had the correct wording on my service medal and it took off from there!
Take care,
Denyse
Good luck with your writing and healing process - I shall be following along!
So proud of you Denyse and pleased that you were finally able to go back to the school. We're all proud of you too!
I understand the trauma to some extent, as I still have many scars about my redundancy situation and don't ever ask for information on my previous workplace which is hard because I'm friends with people who still work there, but in different roles. They know not to mention it to me now and always comment on how much more relaxed I am these days!
Thanks SO much Deb, because I "know how you know" and understand the feelings of betrayal and how things were done at your workplace.
The issues I raised as being reasons for my breakdown are still happening in NSW Dept of Ed so it's endemic. Some of us (ok, me!) just had to leave because I was at (or over) my capacity to self manage.
It took me a very long time to be able to acknowledge a few of the people I still knew from the school...and in fact a blogging friend had her daughters go to the school and she would fill me in.
Given it's over 22 years almost all teachers who were part of those who 'wanted to see me' are certainly retired.
I was incredibly indebted to my friend who offered me work in 2004 which helped heal...the inner teacher me ...
Take care, and I know it's something you really do get...sadly.
Denyse. x
That sounds like some wonderful healing! You should be proud of all your hard work but I am so glad you finally got the closure you needed to put everything behind you.
Thank you kindly Joanne. You have encapsulated all that has happened for me in your lovely comment.
I do feel much better for the realisation and writing about it.
Take care,
Denyse x
Pleased those scars are healing and hope you’re feeling not just proud of what you achieved in your teaching career but how far you’ve come since. I salute you!
Thanks so much Sam!! You are an awesome friend and cheerleader.
Your words are always appreciated.
Take care,
Denyse x
It's so good to read that you have come to terms with all that happened in your teaching career. It sounds like choosing to go back to teaching was exactly what you needed for closure. #TeamWWWhimsy
You are so right! But I took a long time to realise I didn't fail as a principal...
Hi Denyse, you've come a long way. Good on you! I still haven't been anywhere near my old workplace. Thanks for linking up with #WWWhimsy - enjoy your week! xo
Hi Denyse - it's such a great feeling when you've resolved all the stress and upset and can go back without it triggering you. I've recently returned to a setting where I have some casual contact with the woman who made my life so crazy back in my old job. Even the thought of her used to get my heart racing and my flight or fight going full tilt......this time (after 5+ years) I could be in her general vicinity and feel nothing - I don't want to be her friend or even engage with her, but (like you) I could be there without the gut churning, and that's a huge step in the right direction.
Oh Leanne, thank you kindly. That is a big breakthrough for you too. I love that we can connect and share these "life" issues which were so awful...then...and that we can understand the progress we have made.
Take care,
Denyse x
That’s a great step for you to be able to go back. Experiences such as that leave deep scars.
Thank you Jo, for understand how it was for me ...and yes it did scars but they are finally healing.
Take care,
Denyse.