Nine Years Ago Tomorrow.
Why I Mark The Time.
Welcome to Denyse Whelan’s Substack. I am glad you are here.
July Memories. 2017.
This post today is one I “must” write because, for me, I now realise, it’s as important as remembering my education career, getting married, being a parent, becoming a grandparent, AND more.
Yet, back here in May 2026 I wrote in this post that it was the end of my sharing my head and neck cancer (in my case, oral cancer) stories but by mid June 2026 I realised that it WAS something of importance.
In fact there has been quite a shift of thinking for me around trauma and a future post will outline more.
Sometimes we (I) need a reminder even when I don’t want it, that yes it WAS traumatic!
Tomorrow: 6 July is the 9th Anniversary of my 11 hours long cancer removal surgery and mouth reconstruction.
Words and Pics Share The July Story.
Surgery was at Chris O’Brien Lifehouse in Sydney.
Scheduled for Thursday 6 July, we arrived in Sydney for a day of pre-op checks for the major surgery on Wednesday 5 July. I was scared but also ready (kind of!) because I had lived with the knowledge that I had cancer in my upper gums and under one lip since 17 May.
My surgeon was the BEST of the BEST ( still is…) he had two teams in the TWO operating theatres opened to be ONE. One team was to remove cancer…i.e. all of my upper jaw, my palate and part of my lip, and some lymph nodes, send it to pathology over the course of the (eleven hours as it turned out to be) for update. FORTUNATELY I did not need any radiation or chemotherapy. Phew.
The second team the group in charge of cutting open my right leg, harvesting the best vein (blood flow) attached to flesh from part of it, the full fibula, and some skin for a graft, that would all become parts of my mouth.
The prosthodontist and his colleague were also there to oversee the bone, my ‘new jaw’ being cut to accommodate the model (made in Belgium) based on the very technical measurements (visits to the prosthodontist in May 2017) and for screws (abutments) to be added. Later I found out that part of the fibula broke as it was having the abutments added so instead of 6 I got 5.
Of course I knew NOTHING of this but the anaesthetist was fantastic (he who put 3 x lines into my left leg and both arms to keep me alive!) keeping my husband apprised of progress through the LONG day.
I woke that night in I.C.U. and found I could TALK…not well of course BUT no tracheostomy…(thank you body)
Getting Ready for HOME.
Back then we lived on the Central Coast which was a two hour drive from Sydney so it was a good idea to be ready to get home…and I was but I had no idea how ‘feeding me’ would be. I eventually worked it out…thanks to being HUNGRY and a relatively creative cook AND with a very patient shopper in my husband!
My recall is that I did not get any plan around recovery in-hospital recovery but over time, and as my ‘anaesthesia brain’ lifted, there were visits from the team (and sometimes my professor) along with physiotherapist, speech pathologist, dietician and head and neck cancer speciality nurse. The pain nurse visited and wanted to know why I did not need to use the ‘pain pump’ and that was because the pain was not severe. I managed on liquid panadol.
I did well. I was also buoyed by my progress. Every few hours a day, a small doppler would be put into my mouth at the reconstructed palate area and how much I loved hearing the ‘pulse’ from the blood vessel attachment that had come from my leg to keep my new palate alive and thriving. As it remains so to this day!
Knowing how well I was doing (my surgeon agreed!) I very keen to ‘get out of there’ once I had achieved success of swallowing water…meant that the surgeons’ work had kept the new palate (thanks leg) separate from the mouth…and I also had to be able to walk relatively OK with my leg in a boot, using a walker. I did not get to try any food untll the night before I went home. And from then on, it was “interesting” to say the least.
Home Time.
I got the ok to go home on the Saturday 9 days after surgery.
Before then I was given supplies for the home visit community nurses who would come to the house to do my leg dressings (that went on for MONTHS but all OK in the end) and I was given a strong anti biotic…dear reader, it was AWFUL…and slowed my at home progress for a few days!
We managed…thanks to B’s patience and I was not always a patient patient. But we had access to phone calls (sending photos if I was concerned) back to my team at Chris O’Brien Lifehouse. I also had the BEST G.P. support locally too. I admit it was a bit of ‘lottery’ to have consistency in the visiting community nurses and over time we got the best woman who understood my anxiety about “anything in recovery going wrong”…it did not but it was hard not to worry with a very sore and weird feeling mouth and leg with its wounds.
By the end of my 6-8 weeks at home I was safe to drive again. It took a bit of confidence and the leg wound was OK. I also had 2 hospital appointments back to Chris O’Brien Lifehouse 3 weeks after surgery and early October to plan the next surgery. B drove us to these.
Yikes. More surgeries to come. Soon I intend to share what the trauma around my health has brought me. It was, as they say, trauma. Took me a long time to come to that conclusion.
And earlier this year I read this wonderful quote…and screen shots share more:
This is why I write to help me see and feel what the experience was but no longer doing down rabbit holes of fear and more because I have had some good therapy. Therapy does not make the experience go away but it’s helped me become accepting and grateful…and to acknowledge it was TRAUMA!
On Thursday 2 July my nervous system/body let me know I was being triggered (again) by this time of year, 9 years ago. I became upset that it still happens but then again, it IS part of my life history now and my body remembers. I have needed to be much kinder to me as a result and for someone who ‘wants’ to be recovered well, done and dusted, it’s ME who has to change. I admit this and acknowledge I need to take better care of myself compassionately around the strong memories and experiences. I cancelled or postponed what I thought I could do and took the decision to self-care kindly from Friday to Monday.
Take care and thanks for being here,
Denyse x
It was certainly a hugely traumatic time for you Denyse - and one that has shaped you, and will continue to shape you into the future. I do hope that it will fade more as time goes by and you can replace that identity with the woman you've become - full of self-awareness and appreciation. x
Sometimes the story has to be allowed to come out, not to relive it, but so the body does not have to keep holding it all alone.
I’m so glad you’re giving this part of your history space, care, and compassion, and continue to listen to your body. 🤍