Welcome to Denyse Whelan who has a free space (thank you Substack!)
to Write Here!
Thank you for following, reading and commenting. This is why I write…to connect!
Here I am back again!
Writing is such a powerful growth tool for me.
It helps to share of course, but mostly it helps me process.
Recently this life of mine has become more complicated because of the emotional and feeling person I am. Sigh!
And I might not like it much at all.
OK, I try to persevere because I know (intellectually) that it WILL PASS.
From my Friday 20 September updates in my notes:
This is me.
Friday Morning.
I’m waiting for things in my life to settle
But in the meantime I have to wait for some kind of moodiness to retreat
But also maybe it is within to work on this now
I feel depleted but I believe I can work on this kindly
I am not wanting to stay like this but it's part of my life now and change
Let's try
R
A
I
N
Recognition I'm in a state of uncertainty & flux despite better financial background
Allowing my feelings to be as I wrestle lightly with life right now
Investigation tells me this isn't new but that I can work on & through to some semblance of self satisfaction compassionately without needing a boost from B
Nurturing me with a time out. Coffee & snack & a walk at castle towers &
ALLOWING
TIME
TO
PASS
Friday Afternoon and Evening.
Time passed. I chatted with B. I still felt that I had little to no motivation. I remain someone who pushes through usually but even that notion was not working. B said “It’s likely this is grief right now”…..
and on examination of my inner workings…he was right. I knew it but had not articulated ALL I was feeling….
And so I did this collage and wrote more….
It's about loss... this period of my grieving.
More than Dad's death at age 100...and my knowledge that life goes on anyway...
Career... Retirement... Family....Changing Relationships…
Cancer.... Chronic Illness....Others’ Health Issues…
Knowing Friends Who Are Very Unwell….
Dad's life was lived fully!
No doubt about it he had major challenges with his father dying when Dad was 11 in the Great Depression. Dad found he had great support though as he made his way after school into a career which would last him until retirement in 1980s. Marrying Mum, the love of his life, and celebrating 60 years together & 2 kids & 4 grandkids and 3 great grandkids.
Mum died before more great grandkids came along. Dad made the best of his life that he could once he sold the family home & moved to Dee Why. His last year or so was a hard one for him (& us) before he became too unwell to stay living independently.
He gave all of us lessons of many kinds and a true one to recall is the family is paramount!
In fact it was part of a beautifully worded A4 sheet on display over his hospital bed
So I will take comfort from knowing he lived his life to the fullest & we, his kids, grandkids & great grandkids are part of his legacy!
One Memory of my parents with me in 2002.
Tools I find helpful!
@calm with master classes around grief & radical compassion. Books by Tara Brach. Her book Radical Compassion is where I used R.A.I.N. from.
Julia Samuel MBE’s books & app Griefworks programme (yes they cost but it's worth it for me) And I have ended up subscribing to Julia’s Substack on a monthly basis as her words and chats with others help me. I also am now doing the Griefworks app the second time because my reflections now are at a less acute stage of grief.
And Julia kindly sent me love and a message at the end of the instagram post.
By Saturday (the time of writing here) I was ‘back’ in a better mindset and
acceptance of what was…and can be.
I do have to take care of my emotional health and not see it in such a black and white way…I tend to be like that.
Recognising this in me, and not wanting to have a response that doesn’t feel great even with the self-compassion I can muster, I made (yet again) another helpful collage for a reminder.
After a planned and lovely browse at my local big shopping centre…a natural habitat for me…(it’s not all about nature, people!) and I am back here and sharing…
Does this happen to you too?
A shift of perspective or allowing time to do its thing.
It seems that we need to persevere at times too.
Thanks for being here.
Denyse.
Try Smiling Mind app as well. It's upbeat and lifts one along...